With the Derby on the horizon, and to give Blues a taste of my new book (Everything You Wanted to Know About Everton, But Were Afraid to Ask), here are a few free Liverpool-related excerpts on that all-important element of what it means to be an Evertonian, namely ‘Hate’.
Hate Figures
Let’s face it, you could write an entire book on these. But, here are five from what seems an inexhaustible list.
Jimmy Case
Older Blues will never forget his tackle on Geoff Nulty in the 1980 Goodison Derby. It was a challenge that ended Nulty’s career. Evertonians persisted in reminding Case of his part in the incident when he returned to Goodison Park as a Brighton and Southampton player years later.
Emlyn Hughes
Smugness made flesh, the former Liverpool captain played a key part in the growing toxicity that now characterises relations between Red and Blue. Taking a knife to the relatively harmonious peace that existed within the city, Hughes (and his s**t-eating grin) couldn’t help but lord it over Everton during the 1970s, gleefully driving a wedge in the process. He is also one of only two football players to have kissed Mrs Thatcher, which you’d hope is the universe initiating some form of karma.
Gerrard
It is possible to be a Liverpool legend and not necessarily be hated by Evertonians. Not liked, of course, but not loathed. But it’s a difficult line to walk, one that Gerrard didn’t even attempt. Through a long career at Mordor, ‘Stevie G’ revelled in his undeniable ‘Reds**teness’. There were plenty of lows to his Anfield career that we take pleasure in, such as ‘The Slip’, the absence of a league title, and those later years when his legs had gone. But I will always have a soft spot for the 100-yard victory run he undertook to celebrate Liverpool’s ‘winner’ in the 2012 Goodison Derby. By the time Gerrard had reached the away section and slid on his knees, the goal had already been disallowed.
Carragher
It was hoped that spitting in the face of a child would have meant the end of his television career. But sadly not. The age of Carragher and his high-frequency commentary continues unabated. Because of the Blue-leanings of his youth, ‘Carra’ is often called upon as a kind of Everton specialist by Sky. But this is a bit like asking Darth Vader for his perspective on the Jedi, essentially not something any Jedi wants to hear, irrespective of Vader’s boyhood affections.
Andy Robertson
It’s fair to say that Premier League officials don’t enjoy the best reputation amongst football fans. However, this could be improved if the profession learned a lesson from assistant referee, Constantine Hatzidakis. When the linesman elbowed Andy Robertson in the face during Liverpool’s game against Arsenal in April 2023, the reputation of officials briefly soared. With a face almost genetically designed to be punchable, Liverpool’s Scottish gremlin is loathed not just by Evertonians, but by the entire non-Liverpool football world.
Schadenfreude
Although Everton’s success is the purest form of joy any Blue can achieve, there are times when the misfortune of others can be, if not equally pleasurable, then at least a f**ing good laugh. It’s entirely coincidental that all of these examples happen to include the neighbours.
1988/89 League Title
With Liverpool and Arsenal vying for the title, the final game of the season approached. Liverpool stood three points ahead of the Gunners and enjoyed a +2 goal difference. The former were also due to host the latter in the season’s climax. All the neighbours had to do was not lose by two goals, because Arsenal’s superior ‘goals scored’ would have sent the title to Highbury. Although the Gunners had gone ahead just after the break, as the clock ticked on it looked as though Liverpool were going to hang on. And then, with just seconds remaining, the miracle occurred as Michael Thomas latched onto a through ball from Alan Smith, slipped the ball past the advancing Grobbelaar and scored Arsenal’s second. For Evertonians, the sight of dejected Liverpool players, a deflated Anfield, and Dalglish dumbfounded by what had occurred remains one of football’s all-time golden moments.
1988 FA Cup Final
It was billed as a David v Goliath encounter, unfancied Wimbledon against the league champions, Liverpool, the latter chasing down their second Double of the 1980s. The Wombles had only been members of the top flight for two seasons and just eleven years earlier had been a non-league club. For the entire football world, this was only going to go one way. My family were so keen to avoid the smug blast radius inevitably created in the event of a Liverpool victory that we spent the day in Wigan. Sadly, that meant we missed one of the greatest footballing upsets to ever occur, as Lawrie Sanchez’s solitary goal of the game took the trophy home to South London. Even sweeter, the game also featured the first-ever penalty save in an FA Cup final when Dave Beasant denied John Aldridge from the spot.
The Quintuple That Never Was
For a moment during the 2021/22 season, it looked as though everything that could go wrong would go wrong. Liverpool were chasing down an unprecedented quadruple (League Cup, FA Cup, League Title and Champions League). Then, just to add a cherry on top, Everton were deeply embroiled in a relegation fight, a negative conclusion to which would turn that quadruple into a quintuple. The RS made inroads into that potential hell by claiming the League Cup and the FA Cup, beating Chelsea in both games. As the season’s end approached the title race remained close, Everton were still in danger and the Champions League final had been reached. The self-proclaimed ‘mentality monsters’ were oscillating at their self-entitled worst. But that was when things began to go awry for them. First, despite looking dead and buried, Everton performed a Lazarus-style resurrection against Crystal Palace in the penultimate game of the season, turning around a two-goal deficit to win 3-2 and secure safety. Then, in the league, Manchester City did the same against Aston Villa in the final game of the season, meaning that Liverpool’s 3-1 win over Wolves counted for nothing. And finally, in the Champions League, Liverpool succumbed to a single goal, losing once again to Real Madrid. It meant that they had gone from the potential Quintuple to the ‘S**t Double’ in a matter of weeks. Their thinly attended bus tour of the city was a joy to behold.
The Great Virgil Van Dijk Reveal
After being fatally injured by Jordan Pickford during the Goodison Derby in October 2020, Virgil Van Dijk had been brought back from the dead by the necromancers of the Melwood physio department. Although some distance away from being fit to play, by February he was able to walk once again. In their infinite wisdom, the Liverpool hierarchy thought that the perfect opportunity to reveal their resurrected defender to the world would be the Anfield Derby, which took place on 20 February 2021. There he would sit alone, due to Covid restrictions, the sole crowd member. With his nemesis Jordan Pickford in goal and Everton’s record at Mordor generationally dismal, the plan was for Liverpool to secure victory, likely handsomely, and then for all the Liverpool players to run over to Van Dijk, with the loving gaze of the Sky cameras upon them. Except, unexpectedly, Everton decided to spoil the party. Goals by Richarlison and Gylfi Sigurðsson ensured that Everton would end up 2-0 victors. And rather than the sight of a jubilant Van Dijk, the cameras were left to focus on his dejected face instead.
Slippy G
Seminal moments define the career of Steven Gerrard, such as the time he definitely did not assault somebody in a bar in Southport, or his recent decision to park his morals and take the tainted oil shilling to manage in Saudi Arabia. But by some distance, the true defining moment of his career came in April 2014, at home against Chelsea. Back then, with just a few games left in the campaign, Liverpool were vying with Manchester City for the title, standing three points ahead of their rivals (albeit with City having a game in hand). Liverpool could be forgiven for thinking they had one hand on the trophy, a sense of confidence no doubt bolstered by the fact that they had very recently beaten City at Anfield. It was after this game that the cameras caught Gerrard within a huddle of his fellow players, stressing to them that, ‘This does not f**king slip’. Sadly for Steven, those words would come back to haunt him. As half-time approached in the Chelsea game, Gerrard failed to control a pass, slipping over in the process. As the last man, it proved to be a devastating mistake. Chelsea forward, Demba Ba was ready to pounce, latching onto the error to bare down on goal and slip the ball past the advancing Mingolet, putting the visitors ahead. Chelsea would go on to win the game 2-0, the defeat proving to be a telling blow to Liverpool’s ultimately doomed title aspirations.
Everything You Wanted to Know About Everton (But Were Afraid to Ask)
Paperback Available: https://tinyurl.com/2p9w5xhr
Kindle Available: https://tinyurl.com/4dupb748
JIM KEOGHAN 